In His Image

Sisters sharing the journey

Forgiveness February 10, 2009

Filed under: family,relationships,Scripture — Amy @ 04:18
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holdinghandsCommunication is arguably one of the most important components of a healthy marriage.  Openness and transparency with our spouses nurtures a oneness that marks a vibrant marriage.

However, good communication is only part of a healthy marriage.  What we communicate is more important than that we communicate.  Unless we communicate forgiveness, our marriages will be stunted from the growth that is possible.

We need to offer our spouses continual forgiveness.  Jesus talks about this in Matthew 18:21ff.

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

When your marriage is clothed in forgiveness, it will bring honor and glory to God.  Just as we live in a state of forgiven-ness, so should our spouses.

” … Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”  Luke 6:37

How can continual forgiveness affect a marriage?

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Love is not… February 4, 2009

Filed under: relationships,Scripture — Amy @ 04:31
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Rude.  In class Sunday morning, we talked about this little segment in I Cor. 13, “love is not rude,”.  What does it mean?  Love is not rude.lovering  

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary says rude implies ignorance of orlovering indifference to good form, it may suggest intentional discourtesy.

If love is not rude, then…

Love never turns a cold shoulder.  Love never replies with the intent to hurt feelings.  Love never refuses to look someone in the eye.  Love doesn’t ignore another person.  Love doesn’t roll her eyes.  Love doesn’t embarrass another person.  Love doesn’t interrupt.

Love seeks to honor the other person.  Love puts the other person at ease.  Love minds her manners.

Can you add to this list?

 

As Iron Sharpens Iron January 14, 2009

Filed under: relationships,Scripture — Amy @ 12:14
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20000401_sharpening_tools_page005img001My friends do not always agree with me…and let me know when they disagree.  It makes for interesting conversation and opportunities for growth.   I would be less if my friends kept their opinions to themselves.  Wouldn’t you?  Isn’t it more interesting to be around people who express  different points of view?  

Proverbs 27:17  “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”   

it’s the same way in a marriage relationship.  There are times when wives and husbands are in sharp disagreement.  Husbands need to hear their wives ideas and thoughts.  It seems to me that if we want sharp husbands, we will give them another point of view to consider.  Share with them the benefits of your experiences.  A godly wife who shares godly wisdom is a precious gift from God.   “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”  James 1: 5  Pray, pray, pray for wisdom.

The key to sharing thoughts and ideas without crossing over to nagging is to be able to leave the conversation without winning him over to your way of thinking.  I heard an older Christian woman say “share your thoughts on the matter and then pray that God will haunt him with it.”  (But say nothing more about it)

You are a blessing to your husband!  Proverbs 18:22

 

A Corner of the Roof January 12, 2009

Filed under: relationships,Scripture — Amy @ 05:06
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newroof“It is better to live on a corner of  the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 21:9  I do not want my husband to be better off on the roof than in the house with me.   I can control my words.  I can keep from nagging and arguing.  There are so many times when I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know how to best raise my children or how to use my time or even what to have for dinner.  But I can keep from nagging.  I can keep from turning conversations into arguments.  It’s not easy, but it is entirely within my control.  “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Proverbs 10:10  

Dear Lord, Please bless us with wisdom.  Bless each of us with a spirit that is gentle and quiet.

Where is the better place for your husband…..a corner of your roof or inside your house?

 

Fireproof December 26, 2008

Filed under: relationships — Amy @ 05:52
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The movie, Fireproof, with Kirk Cameron, is an anatomy of a marriage that is in desperate need of help and  the Godly road to repair.fireproof

Sitting in the movie theater, I felt like I was watching my friends put on a play.  Once I got over the fact that the acting was second rate, I was caught up in the story.  It was a sweet experience to watch these people tell a story that they believed in.  Many times I have been inspired to love better or think deeper by actors who placed no values on those same things.  What a joy to see a film with that much integrity.  Kirk Cameron does a great job of drawing you into the story.

Fireproof  is highly recommended.

 

Teach Love? December 22, 2008

Filed under: relationships,Scripture — Amy @ 05:41
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“….teach the younger women to love their husbands…..”  How do you teach someone to “love their husbands” ?  Can we learn to fall in love with our husbands?  Can we learn to enjoy our husbands?  What exactly do you teach?

I think we have to look back at I Corinthians 13.  Take about 3 minutes and watch this video on I Corinthians 13.

What is love?  Patient, kind, does not delight in evil, rejoices with the truth,  always hopes, always trusts….Wow!  What a hard teaching.  I think about my husband, sons, and daughter…Love is simple but takes so much energy and determination.

Look at the word always.  We are taught not to use the word “always”.  Because we know there are exceptions.  Paul says always.

But when we realize that love is something that can be taught and we are commanded to teach women to love their husbands, then there is hope!  When your marriage seems stagnant and dull, there is hope!  We can learn to love and when we love, it changes everything.

Love is not easy. It is hard work, but the most rewarding work we can do. In fact, without love, nothing we do is worthwhile.  Love is not the by-product of a good marriage.  Love is the foundation of a good marriage. We have to pour our energies into loving our husbands to have a marriage that nourishes our families.  Our marriages should bring honor and glory to God.  We will reflect the love of the Father, the Son and the Spirit, as we love our husbands.

When Scott and I are working together at church, I believe we are reflecting the love of our Father.  When we are playing with our children and really engaging with them, I think we are showing His love.  When I put aside what I want to do and join Scott in what he is pursuing, I feel like I am loving my husband.  When do you feel like you are loving your husband?  When do you think you are getting it right?

 

Love or Respect? December 21, 2008

Filed under: family,relationships — Amy @ 13:54
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A national survey asked 400 men which they would prefer to indure?

  • to be left alone and unloved in the world
  • to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone

The answer seemed so obvious to me.  It took me no thinking time at all.  I want to be loved!  Above everything else, I would choose love over respect.

74% of the men said that if they were forced to choose, they would prefer being alone and unloved.  Can respect be that big of a thing to men?

What would you choose, if forced?  What would your husband or boyfriend choose?

Love and Respect is the name of the book that our Sunday morning class is reading.  The author, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, states that a woman’s highest need is love and a man’s highest need is respect.  All people need love and respect, but one is the trump card.  Do you think the trump card is different for each sex?

The book says, “For these men, the greater negative experience for their souls to endure would be to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone.”

What do you think?